Thanksgiving morning playing football with friends.

The holiday season is officially upon us! I get a giddy feeling of joy and appreciation this time of year.  I think there is naturally an enhanced excited kind of energy from Thanksgiving through New Years than the rest of the year.   We are reminded of the small things that we may take for granted most of the time, especially the gift of family and friends.  Since last Christmas, when a good friend gave me “The Secret” gratitude journal for a gift, I have been writing down my gratitude’s daily (with exception of a few days here and there).  Here are a few “ah ha’s” I encountered from my yearlong focus on gratitude that may seem really simple, but have really hit home on a deeper, more profound level for me than my previous understanding.   

• Some days, when I wrote my gratitude’s down in my journal, my heart would feel so full.   But it would only last as long as I was thinking about those things I was grateful for at that moment in time, then I would get caught up in the ups and downs of my day and forget about them.  My big “ah ha” this year was when I realized that appreciation is not a 10-20 minute a day “program”, but must be an on-going all day process if we are to create more to be joyful and appreciative about in our lives!  So I began going into my day consciously looking for things to be grateful for all day long.  This was kind of fun, because the more I would find, the more that seemed to appear for me to appreciate!  At first I would keep forgetting to do this, but, the more I practiced it the easier it became.  I still have my days, but for the most part, I do go through most of them feeling happy and appreciative for all the wonderful people, situations, opportunities, things, health and love I have in my life.
• The next “ah ha” came when I would hit a snag-a challenge, disappointment or frustration I had to deal with.  Boy it’s hard to feel grateful in those moments!  What I learned was, its ok to feel disappointed and frustrated, these are natural human emotions and they are important in helping us wee what we truly desire instead for ourselves.  There is always something to be grateful for even in those situations!  It comes down to the “Law of Opposites” where we can always find an equal and opposite “want or desire” in everything we encounter that we don’t want!  The goal then is to focus on the solution, not the problem, the “want” instead of the “don’t want” and remind ourselves of our goals. 
• The next “ah ha” I’d like to share came to me very recently when we had visitors from MN.  They were so appreciative of our home and its “resort” feel and how comfortable they felt here.  I felt so much more appreciative of my home through them than I normally do, which was fun, but I also thought how easily we take things for granted.  So I decided I am going to be a “visitor” in my own home as often as possible so I could continue that feeling of appreciation.   I thought too, if I can do that with my home, why not do it with other things in my life?  When people tell me how wonderful my husband is-I take a moment to appreciate who he is.  When someone tells me I seem really happy, I really let that sink in.  When someone says I inspired him or her to start exercising, I appreciate my lifelong ability to stick to a fitness program and enjoy it!  I now add “compliments” to my way of reminding myself how much I appreciate things I may be taking for granted about myself and my life.

In Peace and Gratitude,

Dr. Deb

“I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it” -Pablo Picasso

I will admit, I am a good one for stretching myself.  I love to take on challenges.  But, there are some challenges I have thought about taking on for a long time (like getting on a public speaking circuit) that still eludes me.  I want to do it, I can even see myself doing it, but in this area, I have played it safe most of the time because it is still not comfortable.  Coming from a background and the pain of living with social anxiety for much of my teens through my thirty’s, those buried fears come to the surface and show themselves in the form of feelings of inadequacy and “not good enough” whenever the thought comes up. 

But, I’ve had those feelings before, plowed though them and created a pretty cool life for myself as a result.  This one too will be conquered.  And I know how glad I will be that I moved forward in spite of my fear of embarrassment or not being good enough. 

How about you?  What dreams are being put on hold because you may have to go through some discomfort or make a few mistakes as you move forward?  There’s no way around it.  You just can’t keep doing what you’ve been doing and expect to get different results!  You don’t have to have all the answers (hint: the Universe will be your guide) and you don’t have to know what’s going to happen.  Nobody who goes out on a limb to move closer to their dreams does!  But they learn! and they succeed on step at a time.

Please share a vision, desire or dream you have here and just one step you will take that is outside your comfort zone toward it!  As for me,  I have attracted a woman into my life who has the same dream to start speaking to larger groups about metapysical principles and we are going to start with a one day conference and share our message to other women.  I’ll keep you posted!

Our ego’s lie in our subconscious mind and are tricky little devils.  One thing our ego does is get us to feel sorry for ourselves when things aren’t going the way we want them to.  It does this by reminding us of those buried feelings of unworthiness hiding out in the inner recesses of our minds.  You could be going along just fine, feeling good, and everything seems to be going great.  Heck, you are doing all the right things!  Visualizing, journaling, writing out all the things you are grateful for, and staying in the moment.  Then somewhere along the way, WHAM!, something triggers that painful feeling of unworthiness.  Maybe you made a mistake, or someone cuts you down, or you fail at something you’ve been working on (or its just not happening fast enough!), or you didn’t get the job or the sale or the raise you really, really wanted. 

Yep, this is prime fertilizer for the ego mind.  All of a sudden, you cannot remember any of that feel good stuff you’ve been working on because you have just gone into the “downward spiral” of despair, anger, or sadness.  Its at this point when we start thinking, “Poor me, I guess I just don’t have what it takes” or “There must be something wrong with me” or “I’m just not good enough”.  The other thing we might do is go into the “Aint it awful’s.”  You know what I mean.  The “Aint it awful I have to do this, when I really want to be doing that?”, “Aint it awful I can’t have the car (job, relationship, income, happiness…) I desire?”, “Aint it awful this is all taking so long!?”

Whoa!!!! The minute you notice yourself going down this all too familiar path, is the moment to change that negative momentum.  I KNOW it’s not easy.  We are sooo practiced at our reactions to our particular pain triggers.  They have served us so well in soothing our bruised ego’s in the past, that we have become conditioned to automatically go there!  The problem is that when we are in “Aint it awful” or “Feeling Sorry” mode we are creating from that mode.   We are creating more “Aint it awful” and “Feeling Sorry” circumstance to come into our lives.  These feelings do not serve us- they defeat us. 

Here are a few “Midlife Mastery” tricks to help you get back into the flow of feeling good. 

1. Take one of your “Aint it awfuls” and make a gratitude list about it.  For example, if you are not where you want to be financially, make a list of how grateful you are for what you DO have!  (If you have a car, a computer and a T.V. set, you are in the top 10% of the worlds economic status!)  Your list might include: Your current steady paycheck (at least you have one!), your home, never going without food, a warm bed to sleep in, a loving dog, a beautiful park to walk through nearby, etc…
2.  Remember that any feelings of unworthiness are beliefs given to you by someone else-they do not belong to you.  Someone else decided a long time ago that you were unworthy based on his or her own insecurities.  You just chose to believe it because you did not know any different.  But now you do!  You are a child of GOD-you are made of the same energy!  How can you possibly be unworthy? 
3. Try the Emotional Freedom Technique otherwise called “tapping”.  It helps release negative emotions that are trapped in your body.  Go to http://www.tapping.com for more information. 
4. There are many other energy clearing techniques to help you let go of unwanted energy including Reiki, Qi Gong, Chakra Balancing and Breath work.  You might experiment and find the one(s) that work best for you.
5. Finally, don’t wait!!! This is the most important of all!!  The Universe (God, Source) wants you to have what you want for yourself!  It wants you to have abundance, love, happiness and joy.  It wants you to have that new job, that successful career, or that great new relationship.  But, it can’t give it to you if you are feeling sorry for yourself or don’t feel you deserve it!  The energy just doesn’t line up!  If we are waiting for that new job, new body, or new partner in order to finally be happy, then we will never receive it.  We must BE the happiness we desire RIGHT NOW in order to provide the opening for our good to flow to us.  So be the happiness, love, joy and abundance now! 

Please share ways you’ve been able to shift your energy from “Aint it Awful” to “Aint it Wonderful!”

What part of your life do you want to change?  How have you been responsible for your unhappiness or frustration with that part of your life?  Sometimes our beliefs are so deeply held, we don’t even realize how they are keeping us limited in certain areas of our life. 

If something in your life is not working out the way you would like it to–you alone are responsible.  What thoughts, beliefs and ideas might be stopping you from having a fully balanced life? 

Post here the area you will change and what you will claim for yourself in that area.  Then make a committment to it-do whatever it takes.  Don’t know where to start?  Just ask for guidance. One step at a time. 

In my e-newsletter I share examples of how we can discover the “stories” or beliefs that keep us stuck in undesirable circumstances.  Awareness can be achieved in many ways, but one of them is by paying attention to our language or the things we hear ourselves saying to others that might be a clue to why we are are suffering in certian areas of our lives.  Considering that our words derive from thought, and our thoughts create our experiences-it makes sense to work backwards from what we say to what we do and believe.   What are you noticing about any negative comments, judging others, or complaints that you catch yourself saying and how that relates to what is happening in your life? 

Let the awareness begin!  Share here what you have noticed and how you have decided to change the thought around to create a more desirable life experience. 

Welcome to the very first posting on my new blog!  Woo hoo!  The purpose of this blog is to start a conversation with other midlife masters who are turning their lives around in a big way!  (or getting ready to!)  No more status quo, no more mediocrosy–We only have the second half of our lives to get it right, so no more procrastinating!  Are you ready?  If so, start by asking yourself a few questions….

1. Do you like your present situation?
2. How do you feel about the work you are doing right now?  Is it the very best use of your unique skills, talents and gifts?
3. What do you want the rest of your life to look like?
4. Do you have the money, time, and resources to be, do and have all that you desire?  Why not?  Are you worthy of living your best life? 
5. What feelings are coming up as you answer these questions? 

Deep down, you know you can have all that you want.  Your soul knows this.  The problem is we don’t always know how to get there.  Guess what?  You don’t have to know how, just what and why.  The Universe will supply the how.  There are natural and immutable laws that are operating for or against us, whether we know of them or not!  If we have an understanding of how they work, we can apply them to work in our favor.  

If you are feeling courageous and want to get this discussion started–please share your answers to the above questions and let me know how familiar you are with Universal Laws.  (Note: The Law of Attraction is only one of them). 

Looking forward to “chatting” with you! 

Dr. Deb